Fly into Memphis. Take 5 minute shuttle bus ride to The Guesthouse at Graceland.

Or drive and park your rig in Graceland lot.

Or find trucker. Check to see if car is in the truck. Check to see it has at least four good tires. If starts, park in The Guesthouse parking lot.

Register. Put on your name tag, flip through the tour book, take inventory of your swag, See if any of your friends are here yet. Go out to car again. Pull out a lot of dirty rags, tools and various liquids to impress the girls.

No group events today, but there sure is lots of Elvis in our hotel, If your parents made you live in a closet under the stairs, you may not know this, but Graceland is Elvis Presley’s mansion. It is across the street from us. Do not take the $150 tour. We get it for free tomorrow.

In the hotel, try the  casual restaurant, the nice restaurant, or the bar. Sound-cancelling headphones optional. Fire pits on terrace next to pool. Alternately, take an Uber to Beale Street. Just don’t take the Party Bike Ride with co-eds if you plan to drive tomorrow. Or do.

The Guesthouse has complimentary PB&J’s with chocolate milk at 9 pm “while they last”. You can sneak 2 halves if you forgot to make a reservation for dinner.

Notice the stuff in your room that you did not see before, like car picture in toilet area. Nite-nite.

If we can get out of Memphis, we will go straight south on a pretty drive to Lake Arkabutla.We bet you didn’t know there were lakes in Mississippi. In fact, there are are 1,464 covering around 17,000 acres. Lunch at the Hollywood Cafe. It’s an institution. Home of the fried pickle. 

Check out Tunica River Park just to see the Mississippi and take pictures. They will never show what a dump it is. Go up the elevator if you dare. Scary as shit. We have no idea when it was last maintained. But, shrug, no charge. If you are lax with your time and money, go to the Mound Bayou exhibit on the second floor. Skip the rest. The place also has a huge empty parking lot if you need to do any adjustments. 

Study hard at  the Gateway to the Blues Museum. A must. It is actually the Tunica Visitor’s Center which means there are lots of nice ladies there. 

Now our favorite part. Poke around the abandoned Harrah’s Casino. Okay, not really, but security is pretty nice. If the gate is unlocked just drive in. If it is, shimmy through it. There is a large machinery auctioneer there. Also, the buildings that are still standing have been kept up, so if you want to have a resort, know that it is for sale. 

Drive on Levee Road. Oops. You cannot drive on Levee Road. Or you can by mistake and find out that it is gated and at the last gate you can see where you want to be and are stuck. It is a one way road with about a foot extra gravel (no shoulder) on each side. No turn arounds, It will get dark. You will have to call 911, have them send the locator app to your phone, listen to them discuss that since it belongs to the Army Corps of Engineers they cannot unlock it, Be ordered to not move. Back up 15 miles anyhow to some crazy abandoned casino lampposts, that if you were paying attention you would know who abandoned them, and never be so happy to see traffic. Just sayin’. 

Tinker with car until your wife tells you for the very last time that you must clean up for dinner.

Now that you are schooled in the blues and the state of gambling in the state of Mississippi, get schooled in Elvis. Come on, you have really wanted to go to Graceland and just wouldn’d ‘fess up. Private tour of Graceland and dinner in the Elvis Presley Automotive Museum. Hey, if it has an entire flying lady on the wall, who are we to complain? Elvis appears to have been a kindred spirit.

Three states in one day!

First full day in the Delta. Lots of agriculture. Maybe cotton still in boll. Boring flatland with dirt and no crops fields if not. Note: roads in this area are often around fields and even if it says Ana’s Bottom on the map, it is not a road. Pay attention to directions

Set forth south on the Blues Highway, or as we know it, the dreaded 4-lane divided highway. Now you know why it is called the Blues Highway. We are only going 35 miles on it. We could have been going 289 miles, all the way to Natchez. Chin up.

Pass the white bull in Lula, cross the bridge into Helena/West Helena, Arkansas.The bridge is one of only two crossings of the Mississippi River to Arkansas. Visit Delta Cultural Center at the Depot, check out the Biscuit Hour studio, hopefully while they are broadcasting. Pick up your Delta Dirt.

Head right on back to Mississippi. View Moon Lake if you wanna. It’s better at sunset.Park in front of the notable Hambone and meet Stan Smith. Walk around downtown Clarksdale. Shop. Go to Cat Head Delta Blues and Folk Art for some records/tapes/CDs/whatever and, well, folk art.

Drive into the middle of traffic and take a picture of the much-smaller-than-you-think Devil’s Crossroads. Well, you can park at Abe’s Bar B Q. Been there since 1924. Great mural in parking lot – photo op.

Check in real fast so that we can take the panorama extravagana tour photo. Have cocktail or two – you’re not going anywhere.

Dinner & Blues at the Commissary. Dress as you are or worse.

All Delta, all day.

A big circuit around the Delta today, including two stretches of the 1,375 mile-long Great River Road. About a billion small towns with cool stuff in them.

First stop is McCarty’s Pottery in Marigold, next to Mound Bayou. Be forewarned: this is not cheap stuff. Be sure to get your tour thing. 

After you have filled your Ghost, drive out past Po Monkey’s, the juke joint in all the photos of the Delta that you see on the internet, just to say you did. Be prepared to be horrendously disappointed. There is not much left. Screen-grab the internet picture and pretend that’s what you saw.

A pleasant, mostly dirt, drive out to Terrene Landing to view the Mississippi River and if we are lucky, some barges. The landing itself can be disappointing, but remember the Mississippi is all about moving stuff.

Greenville is hot tamale-ville. Directions go by three of the renowned ones. Enjoy a bite-your-fingernails-off perch on the top of the Levee (yes, you can drive on this one, sorta). We will also visit the 1927 Flood Museum. It is truly hard to underestimate the impact this disaster had on the Delta and beyond. Bet you’ve never even heard of it. 

And who can resist a restroom masquerading as Birthplace of Kermit the Frog? We are going there. Leland is a pretty town. Great photo op. 

Just when you think you really don’t need any more blues, we are stopping in Indianola. Casual lunch at Club Ebony followed by visit to B.B. King Museum and Delta Interpretive Center (excellent; not a copy of the Visitor’s Center). 

Cruise to Cleveland (not that one), a college town. ‘Nuf said.

You are not yet sick of the Delta. We promise.

Today is our give-back day. Annual Meeting in the morning. If you can fit it in, the Grammy Museum is two blocks away. 

The Empty Bowls fund-raiser has been scheduled around our arrival. They are very excited to have us. We will display our cars at a light lunch for the benefit of  Extra Table, which operates food pantries and soup kitchens which are much needed in the poverty-stricken Delta.

We will be very busy this afternoon. Bill Lester of the Dockery Farms Foundation will speak to us at the deeply blues-related site. 

Our route takes us through places very deeply emblematic of the civil rights struggle in Mississippi (and so the country). We will drive by the notorious Mississippi State Penetentiary, also known as Parchman Farm, It is not possible to visit inside, and it is not possible to stop on the road outside. However, there is a Civil Rights Trail marker across the street and you are allowed to visit it. Take a picture of the entry. 

The next few hours will have us digging deep into Emmett Till. Please read the pages in this book about him if you do not really remember. There is a small museum operated by the National Parks Service across the street from the courthouse in Sumner, where the murder trial took place. The Little Tallahatchee River is the rough route from here. In Glendora is Graball Landing, the site where Till’s body was recovered. The marker has been shot through many times, but the original is preserved in the Smithsonian. Continuing south from Glendora are the ruins of Bryant’s Grocery where Till was said to have whistle at a white woman, ultimately leading to his brutal torture and murder. We will then drive a whole stretch of nothing which is exactly like the whole stretch of nothing that sheltered the community at that time. A quick stop at Black Bridge.

As we get to Greenwood (not Greenville, you must know that by now), there is a marker on the Tallahatchie Bridge of Bobbie Gentry’s Ode to Billy Joe. Greenwood is the location of much of the movie The Help.You can get a map if you want to drive around the specific places. 

Supper is at the Viking Cooking School (like the appliances, not the guyes with horns). We will be having Southern Specialties, including Minnie’s Pie. We dare you. No, you do not have to cook, just look, listen and eat. You’ll probably get a recipe booklet. Shop at wonderful gift shop which they keep open after supper.

Our first taste of the Trace!

Enjoy the unbelievable breakfast on the rooftop terrace at the Alluvian. This morning is a pleasant 75 mile drive to the historic town of Canton. It has one of those cute town squares with places for lunch on your own. Or not. We were going to Yazoo City, but they are blowing up the center of town and we really, truly cannot figure out how to get in and out of the one-way streets. This is what you need to know about Yazoo City: the pastel storefronts are very pretty. 

We will join the Natchez Trace just southeast of Canton. The Trace runs along the Ross R. Barnett Resevoir which is huge and gorgeous. Take a deep breath, because we are then going into Jackson, the Capitol of Mississippi. Warning: the roads are atrocious, and there is no way around them.

The Mississippi Civil Rights Museum is our next, very important, stop. The Museum is really well done and you could spend all day there. Exhibits cover the entire Civil Rights Movement, but particular attention is given to the murders of Medgar Evers and Emmett Till and their role in bringing the movement to the forefront of American life It would have been nice to have been there before yesterday. Make sure you do not get bogged down in the beginning parts because there is so much more. 

Dinner is at the Walk In, part of the famous Mal & Hals. It is a very cool place. Two minute walk among law enforcement buildings, but do not walk alone.

Really, really, yes, really, long day. Really. That’s what you get when there are no decent hotels to stay in near Vicksburg. We know that because we tried them all.

Try to zoom out to Vicksburg National Battlefield and see the armored steamship, USS Cairo. Go to Catfish Row Museum or the Lower Mississippi River Musesum with the actual workboat M/V Mississippi IV, or at least visit the area, and have lunch.There is also a museum where Coke was first bottled. Watch your time. If you didn’t get your tamales in Greenville, check out Solly’s Hot Tamales 

That’s it for the Delta. Boo.

Drive 70-ish miles on Natchez Trace Parkway. Pass through Port Gibson, the town too beautiful to burn, and take a sidetrip to Windsor Ruins. Pretty drive with some twisties and altitude change back to Trace. More Natchez Trace. In fact, Natchez Trace to Natchez. 

Come as you are BBQ from Pig Out Inn at Richard Branyan’s, to our knowlege the only vintage Rolls Royce owner in Mississippi, 10 minute (five block) walk from hotel. Ghost smell A-OK.

Today we stay in Natchez and check out what it is famous for: plantations (plural).

Drive the super-steep road past the notorious Under-The-Hill Saloon opulated mostly by bikers. The lunch they have there is jerkey and peanuts. We know because we tried.

First stop: Guided tour of Rosalie

It’s your plantation, plantation.

Second stop: Guided tour of Longwood

Also called the “Octogon House.” Absolutely fascinating. Enormous. Never finished. Owners lived in the basement.

Drive over the second, and last, bridge between Mississippi and Arkansas that we have been looking at for three days. Third stop: Frogmore Plantation & Gin, both historical and modern. We promise we will find our way through the lint without Ghost inhalation.It is not like the other ones. It is a plantation, not a planter’s fancy house. OK, you can miss this one if you are tight on time. 

If you want to go to Stanton Hall (the one in all the pictures) do it by yourself. It is a close walk, but you will need to listen to a prentious garden club member give the tour. Also you CANNOT WANDER AWAY any more than 7 feet. He has anxiety. Most of the stuff is not original.

Lunch on your own. There are lots of places in Natchez.

Ladies (gentlemen?), join nationally-known John Grady Burns for flower arranging. We will display our creations at dinner.

Big night: Juleps & Jazz (learn how to make ‘em) at Monmouth followed by fancy dinner. 

Today is the day you would prefer to poke needles in your eyes rather than drive. You could play I Spy, but there’s nothing to spy. Try 99 bottles of beer on the wall. It’s a repositioning cruise, from the Delta (west) to the Woodlands (east). Clear across the state.

We will have a nice drive through the Homochitto National Forest and then find ourselves on a four lane divided highway for the next 85 miles. It is a good road and not crowded. It’s just that it’s, well, a four lane divided highway. The shopping in the afternoon, however, is superb.

Lunch on your own in or around Seminary. Avoid Shady Acres because it is a left turn on a four way divided highway and it’s just meh anyhow. Or just wait until Laurel, 35 miles up the pike. You are having dinner OYO in Laurel, so keep that in mind. Well, Seminary is probably a better bet because you really want to see the Laurel Visitors Center and you might be hungry.

Laurel is an adorable place with with Laurel Mercantile, The Scotsman, and The Scent Shop, all owned by the same bunch of Napiers. Erin and Ben are the hosts of HGTV’s Hometown in which they rennovate houses in town with the aim of bringing back the city. Note that we are there. It is working.

The Laurel -Jones County Visitors Center is a repurpose of a 1940s public housing apartment. It is the one building kept and reused from the demoltion of  Triangle Homes and Beacon Home with HUD funds that became available in 2021. The Napiers, along with the Mississippi Department of Archives and History, were largely responsible for creating the Visitors Center. Included is one apartment furnished to the 1940s era.

Shopping! The Laurel Mercantile (Erin’s), the Scotsman (her husband’s), the Scent Library (god knows who thought this one up). The Scotsman has a real woodshop with a “Recording” sign that lights up when they are, uh, recording. Also an amazing walk in cooler with a billion flavors of soda pop in glass bottles. Ask the counter guy where to uncap them. Also, Husband Sitting across the street from the Mercantile.

Unfortunately, the neato new hotel that we were the very first to book had an awful fire. Too bad, because HGTV decided to make a show about it. Woulda been win-win. The proprietress is Mallory Raspberry. True that.

Unfortunately, the neato new hotel that we were the very first to book had an awful fire. Too bad, because HGTV decided to make a show about it. Woulda been win-win. The proprietress is Mallory Raspberry. True that.

Dinner OYO in Laurel. Many choices. I guess our group activity was the shopping.

 The Drive from Laurel to Meridian. Just like it sounds. Another snooze of a drive for half a day which is a good thing because we are going to be busy, busy, busy. First, Clarkco State Park because it has a very pretty lake that you can swim in, but more because they have bathrooms and it has been 48 mile since breakfast. Simmons-Wright Company is  a pretty famous country store. Lunch is around back. And if you have a hankering to take a picture with the Sweet Home Alabama sign, you can climb through the woods, chain link fence, detritus and under the Interstate. Actually, don’t even think about it.

As we enter Meridian, the big city you’ve never heard of unless you are driving from South Carolina to Texas, we tour the Soule Steam Museum, otherwise known as Mississippi Industrial Heritage Museum. Cool place for a wedding reception. The hotel is 0.4 miles from there.

Meridian is excited to see us. The police are arranging for parking in the parking lot of the Mississippi Arts and Entertainment Experience, or MAX. It is a very, very cool place of which you have also not heard. Drop your stuff at the hotel and then follow directions to park. It is very close.

Hang out on rooftops. If you are hankering for a happy/restoration hour(s) before dinner, the hotel has a rooftop bar that looks really good in pictures, but you judge for yourself. It is very popular with local professionals.

Swanky dinner on the MAX rooftop. We will have the entire museum/space/whatever to ourselves, and it is A-OK to walk around with your cocktails. Use the interactive stuff which emails your projects to you. It is fun. Post to Instagram.

Stumble back to Threefoot.

The reason you came. To drive your Ghosts. About 100 miles mostly on tree-lined roads.

First, a quick stop to see the grave of the Gypsy Queen. We will then make our way straight north to the Noxubee National Wildlife Refuge which manages habitat for the conservation of migratory birds. Bluff Lake is a popular fishing spot and it is sometimes difficult to park on the side of the road, but be sure your you do not miss the sunken trees. 

The Visitor Center itself has a desk with all of the usual staplers, messy papers and kids’ photos taped on the wall, but is never manned as far as we can see. The limited exhibits are about wildlife. If you are bringing kids, taxidermy. The deck out back is a wonderful viewpoint. 

Then a quick hop up to Starkville, home of Mississippi State University. We’ll be the guests of the Mayor on Main Steet. Lots of restaurants right there for lunch on your own. 

MSU’s Dairy Reserch Center and dairy processing supply their Cheese Shop. They have muscadine swirl ice cream in little cups. The cheese is award-winning. 

Dinner is on the country terrace at The Tangerine Motel in nearby Crawford. 

Start your day at the Natchez Trace Visitors Center which is just outside of town. It opens at 9 am, and is a must-see. Head north on the Trace until you get to Tupelo. Period.

We will have a tasting and heavy charcuterie at lunchtime at the Queen’s Reward Meadery. Sounds weird, but keep an open mind.

Very close by is the birthplace of Elvis Presley. You can park in the nice big parking lot and see it from the outside for free. If you want to go inside at the house, and also see his childhood church with “immersive” multimedia included (on the hour until 3), you need to pay $20. If you pay for the “Grand” ticket ($25), you also get to go in the museum which is mostly about Tupelo and fairly enjoyable. 

If you want a bite on your way to the hotel and skip dinner (or not) you can go to Johnnie’s Drive In where Elvis hung out, or the Dairy Kream (cash only) where we got our first Purple Cows since 1973. The hotel is also close and is smack downtown. The Elvis stuff that is not at Graceland is here. The hardware store where he bought his first guitar is a block away from the hotel.

Dinner on your own, if you still want it.

Over 100 miles of the gorgeous Natchez Trace Parkway. Put your tops down. Unless, of course, it is pouring in which case you will be happy you are on a no commercial traffic road. There are essentially no services on the Trace at this point. Fuel up before you leave. Also use the restroom, as many things on not only Google but also on official maps are closed. 

Lunch at historic Colbert Ferry if we can figure out how to get it there. Otherwise meh box lunch. The setting is gorgeous, overlooking the Tennessee River. Natives traded the right to run a ferry across here in exchange for all the area around the Natchez Trace. It was a very lucrative deal. 

Next we’ll skip over that bridge and continue up the Trace to the the Wachipi Commerative Stone Wall. It was built by a man whose wife survived the Trail of Tears to Oklahoma and found her way back when she was 14. The wall is the longest dry laid wall in the country. Her great-great-great-grandson in the white pickup is now the caretaker. There are several sacred areas, including one where an unknown native girl was reinterred. Bring something to leave at her part of the wall. There are lots of hair ties there. Think teenage girl. The wall is very difficult to find. It’s by milepost 338 on the right. You will see a dirt road on your left. That is where you park. If you see the wall behind a chainlink fence on your left, you have not gone quite far enough.

Leaving the Trace, we will travel countryside that was part of the Trail of Tears and then cross back over the Mississippi, our second river traverse of the day.

On to the legendary Muscle Shoals Sound Studio, where the Rolling Stones recorded Brown Sugar. Other guys were: Bob Seger, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Willie Nelson, Joe Cocker, and Levon Helm; Aretha Franklin, Wilson Pickett, Etta James, Percy Sledge, and The Staple Singers; Cher, Paul Simon, Rod Stewart, Cat Stevens, Bob Dylan, and Linda Ronstadt. Whew!

After a brief visit to the old Railroad Bridge, very photogenic and also walkable, we will cross the river for the third time, over the Wilson Dam. Our hotel is right at the end of the dam road.

Transportation, not our Ghosts, to the Lava Room for an early Halloween dinner.

A more leisurely day, staying another night in Florence.

The Rosenbaum House (Frank Lloyd Wright) is in Florence and the Hellen Keller House is in Muscle Shoals are not far from our hotel. The Coondog Cemetery is also an option. Unfortunately, the Rattlesnake Saloon closed for the season two days ago. Downtown Florence is another option. It is cute and has lots of boutiques. Plus Big Bad Breakfast (put your name in when you get there, then wait).

However, the hotel also has a spa and a huuuuge swimming pool. Plus, the parking lot is large and somewhat civilized.

While there are lots of interesting places to eat in Muscle Shoals/Tuscumbia/Florence, the two in the hotel are good, too. The fancy one is up in the tower with 360-degree views. 

Pack up your gitars and head for Tennessee! And then some more Mississippi.

But first, drive through a part of the Tail of Tears. Beautiful land, horrible circumstance. Join the north side of the Tennessee River and make your choice: Part of the Transamerican Trail, or the weenie route. That would be the transamerican trail with lots and lots of hairpins. Also dirt surface.

Mapping the TAT was an astounding undertaking. It took Sam Carrero 12 years to scout, mapping 4,253 miles of a recreational pathway using a  minimum of paved roads. It is intended for motorcycles, ATV’s or touring bicycles. The heck with the Stelvio. It is now made for Ghosts. Lucky for us, a guy named Homer Smith lives in Corinth, one of today’s destinations. Homer sells trail maps. He is the only one. Fair enough. Homer himself says we can do it. P.S. he has a free bunkhouse and a shop that will make you feel like totally inadequate, and he can get any part you need. Check it out.

Once we drive over the beautiful Pickwick Dam, avoiding driving on Alabama 72, we will go to the Shilo National Military Park Corinth Interpretive Center. If you did not know, Shiloh was a big Civil War place, but of course you were listening in school and know all about it. If you didn’t get a slugburger in Tupelo, this is pretty much your last chance.

The cute little town of New Albany is a good lunch stop. It has Scarlet’s Donuts. Then through Holly Springs National Forest to Oxford, home of The University of Mississippi (if you have been paying attention at the Civil Rights Museum, you know you really shouldn’t call it “Ole Miss”. It is also home to Chef John Currence, James Beard award winner. We will be eating dinner at his City Grocery.

P.S.: There is a road called 72. You do not want to get on a 72, ever, even if you have to miss the Sneaker Tree.

Homeward bound, a light day, all told.

If you can figure out the logistics, visit Rowan Oak, William Faulkner’s home. It has big outlines of his books in pencil on the walls. Very pretty grounds. It opens at 10 a.m., and has parking for about 5 cars, and dollars to donuts you cannot get out of them even if you got in. Since you are a fancy pants, you may want to try parking illegally on the street or in someone’s driveway.

The west side of Sardis Lake is known as a motorcyclist’s delight. We will do it, too, and then more around the lake. Drive through Holly Springs National Park to get to the Yellow Fever Martyrs’ Church and Museum. Do not scoff. Yellow fever was a big deal. Killed equivalent of half the population of Memphis.

Head back to South Memphis. All you Speedy Gonzales will pack up your Ghost lickety split. You know who you are. Drop cars at rig/truckers/parking lot. Bemoan last of grease on your jeans. Go back to the room and realize you probably shoulda left more stuff in the car. Especially the sparkplugs.

Walk/ride across the street to Graceland once last time for fab closing dinner in homage to Elvis’ Jungle Room. Think green carpet and tiki bar. And a big screen for all those photos you uploaded to the Insta feed.

Find anyone who is left, and drink soulfully in the lobby. Trade stories of whose car had what problems during the last few weeks. Slink off to bed.

Elvis Has Left The Building. From here on, it’s your problem. See ya in 2027.